Happiness Never Lasts Long
by Sorida
Summary: A "Zim learns the truth" fic with a slight twist...kind of. After learning the truth, Zim decides that there's nothing left for him. Little does he know that his seemingly idiotic servant and his enemy do care. First in the Lasting Impressions Trilogy.


#38 *

Invader Zim

Happiness Never Lasts Long

Summary: My first fanfiction on this site! Zim becomes depressed after learning about what the Almighty Tallest really think about him. Dib gets caught up in the madness and much later, takes pity on the Irken. Just as he realizes his pity, it seems Zim's run away to do the unspeakable. Can Dib stop him in time or will Zim succeed in his escape? This is NOT, I repeat NOT a ZADR fic. It is a ZADF fic though...somewhat. Just read it, gosh darnit!

A/N: Yes, yes, yes, I know this concept has been done many times before but oh well. Deal with it! I'm gonna try to make this a little different and confuse everyone a little but I shall explain it all at the end if y'all still don't get it. I stay true to my word by saying that this oneshot will get confusing. I really hope this is different!

Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim, Viacom does. Etc. Etc. Blah. Blah. Blah...on with the fic!

Static. Nothing else. Static filled Zim's monitor for the fifth time. He had tried to contact the Tallest again, only to be turned down and immediately cut-off. He sighed as he stared sadly at the screen. Three days before, Zim had called them to give a status report. That's when they finally told him off.

~Earlier that day~

"My Tallest! I have gathered more information that will be helpful to the Armada. You see-" Zim was cut off by Tallest Red.

"Look Zim," he started, "we- oh how do I put this? We don't care."

"Huh?" Zim asked, looking perplexed at his leader's comment.

"Well Zim, this was an excuse to get you away, FAR away from us. The truth is-"

"You suck!" Tallest Purple exclaimed while still eating a bag of chips.

"But I do not understand! I am the Armada's top invader. I AM ZIM!"

"Also an excuse to banish you." Red said with a bored tone. "Look Zim, we don't care what you do, just don't come back! All of Irk has had enough of you! Nobody cares for a defective of such, SHORT stature. Actually, nobody cares for defectives." Zim stared blankly at them.

"I don't understand..."

"Well get it through your head! You're banished from Irk! And don't think that you can 'quit' banishment like last time!" Red exclaimed.

"Yeah. Actually, call if you're dying so all of Irk can celebrate!" Purple said. Zim's heart sank another hundred feet. Even Red looked a bit shocked at this comment. But whatever shock was on his face was quickly replaced with seriousness.

"Zim, just don't call us back. At least, if it's not important." Red finally said.

"Like your life!" Purple shouted. Red quickly cut the transmission and static filled the screen.

~Present~

Zim reflected on that fresh memory added to his PAK, wishing he could just shut it off and…fix himself.

The next day at skool, Zim sat in his desk staring solemnly at the wall ahead. Ms. Bitters kept droning on about how one day the sun would explode and destroy the Earth. Dib shot him death glances throughout the entire class. After another hour of torture, the lunch bell finally rang and the class made a mad dash out of the room. Zim and Dib were the last ones to leave.

"What's the matter ZIM?" Dib sneered, "Afraid of the food?" Zim muttered something and continued on his way, leaving a shocked Dib behind. *There's something up with him,* he thought, *that was totally un-Zim like. Maybe he has another plan!* With that thought, Dib ran to the cafeteria.

Zim picked up his lunch tray and went over to his usual table alone. He never actually ate anything, but maybe today he would. Maybe he'd get lucky. But as far as he knew, rice and ketchup weren't hazardous to him in any way. He sighed. Just then, Dib walked up to him with something behind his back.

"What do you want Dib-stink?" Zim asked half-heartedly. He really wasn't in the mood for this.

"I know you're up to something." was his reply.

"Way to be specific." Zim said. Dib frowned. Zim was definitely being not Zim-like. Maybe this would change his mind...

SPLASH!

Dib emptied the whole bucket of water on Zim. On the way to lunch, he snagged it from the careless janitor and filled it to the top with water. Zim fell from his seat writhing in pain on the floor. He was thoroughly soaked. His skin smoked and his face was screwed in an incredibly pained expression. But to Dib's (and Zim's) surprise, he did not cry out. Dib was expecting the ear-splitting scream followed shortly by threats about facing the wrath of the "almighty Zim." He couldn't have been more wrong.

It was an odd feeling to Zim, but he almost welcomed the pain. The physical pain from the water offered him some form of relief from his deeper feelings. It was...cleansing. Helpful. He slowly got up to face Dib, skin still burning like mad. With a final glance, he left the cafeteria as well as the Skool.

Dib stood there in disbelief. There was no screaming, no threats, no "Zim is normal" speech, not even a death glare. Instead, he got a pained alien with a blank stare. But there was something more in Zim's eyes, deeper pain, sorrow, maybe even regret? Dib dismissed the thought as the bell rang to return to class. He could think about it later.

Dib entered the class to find no green kid in the front desk. No surprise there, Zim usually mysteriously disappeared from class at times, usually when he was working on another "destroy all humans" plan. He shuddered as he remembered the moose incident. He didn't want that to happen again. *He'll be here tomorrow.* Dib thought to himself. But Zim didn't come the next day and no attempt was made to end human existence on Earth. Or the day after that. That night, Dib laid on his bed thinking about Zim. What was it he saw in his eyes two days ago? Pain? Suffering? Hopelessness? Loneliness? He looked at his clock. 10:30pm. Dib sighed as he rolled off his bed and put on his shoes. Sometimes, a walk by the small river helped him clear his mind. With that, he left for his late night stroll.

Zim finally returned from his lab to the ground level of his base. He was thinner with small circles developing under his eyes. His skin was a slightly paler green than it had been three days ago. There was also something else missing from him, the will to live. His hopes and dreams had all been crushed in only a few minutes of his life. Zim didn't have anything else to live for; GIR would probably be just fine if he left him alone with nothing but the Scary Monkey Show and tacos.

As he walked past GIR on the couch, he hesitated. Maybe he shouldn't...ah, who gives a crap. Zim opened the door and two large teal eyes looked at him.

"Where ya goin' master?" the small, disfunctional robot asked.

"I'm going for a walk GIR." he replied.

"But it's 10:30."

"So?" GIR seemed to think a minute.

"Okey-dokey! Be back in time for waffles and tacos!"

"Sure GIR, sure. Oh GIR, if I'm not back by the time you're done doing-whatever it is you're doing, go down to the lab. There's a note there for you."

"Coconuts are falling from the sky! The SKY!"

"Bye GIR." Zim whispered as he closed the door. Once he made sure no one was looking (he didn't bother putting on his disguise), he ran off to his destination: the river in the park.

Dib walked down the pathway in the park, noting how beautiful the stars were. It really was a perfect night. The air was crisp, the moon was out, and someone else was in the park at 11:00pm at night too. Wait a second- another person? Dib looked at the shadow in the distance. It looked vaguely familiar. The figure stood on the railing of the bridge going over the river itself. It wasn't exactly a deep river, it wasn't even that big. But it was too large to be considered a creek. To Dib's surprise, the figure jumped into the river after leaving something on the rail. Normally, Dib wouldn't find a late night swim all that worrisome. There was something different about this though. The figure had antenna, which could only mean one person.

"Oh shit, Zim!" he shouted as he broke into a run, "What the hell were you thinking?" He ran towards the river, hoping it wasn't too late. As much as Dib hated him, he knew there was something wrong with his nemisis. Zim was way too egotistic to try and do something like

this. Dib reached the landing sight out of breath as he watched a dark figure sink to the bottom. "Zim, you're lucky it's not winter." Dib said as he took off his trench coat and shoes. He dove in without another word.

Dib remembered that the river wasn't too deep, only about six feet at the most. Confirming his suspicions, he saw Zim at the bottom surrounded by weird-looking bubbles. *So that's what happens when he's submerged.* Dib thought quickly. He shook it out of his head. *How the heck am I gonna get him out?* He cautiously reached his hand forward to Zim's body, only to recoil at the intense heat. *Geez! The water's boiling around him! There's no way I can pick him up like this!* Quickly, Dib swam back up to the surface gasping for air. How the heck was he going to get Zim out of the water? Then it hit him. Dib climbed back up on the shore and searched his trenchcoat's pockets. His hand closed around a device. "Bingo." He took it out the pocket and looked it over.

It was a small, grappling-hook like device. When you squeezed the trigger, the claw would shoot out and grab whatever you were aiming at. It was meant to help one scale buildings but desperate times call for desperate measures. Dib took careful aim and shot it into the water. Once it latched onto something, he hastily pushed the "reel" button. Praying it hit its intended target, the line slowly came out of the water. With a sigh of relief, Dib saw Zim on the end being pulled out by his arm. Dib laid him down on the pathway near the bridge and released the device. As he was putting the device away, something in it caught his eye. He examined it quickly and noticed it has some odd dark green fluid on it. Dismissing the observation for later, he turned his attention back to Zim. Burns covered his body and some dark green fluid leaked from some of his burns and steadily flowed out of his arm. *The same arm that- oh shit* Dib thought as he quickly turned from Zim to his device. The green stuff was his blood. Dib returned his attention once more to the unconscious alien. Then, he noticed something else. Zim wasn't wearing his PAK.

He glanced over at the bridge and sure enough, there was the PAK. *I hope it hasn't been ten minutes.* Dib thought remembering last time when he foolishly stole Zim's PAK. He grabbed the PAK from the railing and brought it over to Zim. The wires immediately reattached to his back and Zim let out a shaky cough. Water soon flowed from his mouth and soon mixed with blood. Dib flinched as he watched the alien, no longer knowing what to do. *What if I brought him to his house?* Without another plan in mind, Dib put his trenchcoat and shoes back on. He braced himself as he picked up Zim, only to find him lighter than he expected. Almost too light. *Focus Dib.* he told himself as he made his way for the base.

GIR glanced at the clock. 12:03 am. Where was he? He was late for tacos and chocolate cupcakes! Master was never late for anything! GIR hopped off of the couch and, for once in his life, thought about what to do. Of course, a small "ding!" from the oven broke his mind.

"My taquitos are ready for piggy!" he squealed with joy as he ran to get his food from the oven. Contrary to popular belief, GIR wasn't a bad cook. He was pretty good at baking food, so long as it wasn't made with any ingredient that looked a little too much like the word "rocket fuel" on the back of the box.

GIR brought the food over to the small table in the middle of the kitchen. But as he set the food down, some silent alarm went off in the little SIR unit's head. *Warning!* it read, *PAK situation critical!* GIR became uneasy. This meant one of two things, the Scary Monkey Show wasn't on, or his Master's life was being threatened. With his eyes turning red, he chose the latter he quickly put on his disguise and headed off in search of Zim, eyes blue once more. He followed the distress signal from the PAK a couple streets down. There, he saw the big-headed boy and...

"Master!" he shrieked as he ran over to Zim. Dib looked up and was almost tackled by Zim's robot-dog thing. "Hi big-headed boy! I made taquitos!"

"Um, Gir is it?" Dib asked.

"Yeeeessss?"

"Listen, your Master is hurt. We need to get him back to the base." For the first time, GIR registered his Master's condition.

"Master?" he asked, tears forming in his eyes.

"GIR, can you fly us back?" GIR nodded and activated his rockets. He quickly grabbed Dib and Zim as he flew for the house. The trio burst through the door of Zim's base as GIR took them down to the underground lab. Once they landed, GIR quickly took off his disguise and ran over to Zim.

"Master, wake up." GIR said quietly. Dib watched the sad little robot. He pitied him. Even if it was Zim and his robot, it just seemed wrong to let them suffer like this. He mentally slapped himself for making such a comment.

"Uh, Computer?" Dib said.

"What?" The Computer asked annoyed at the boy for disturbing him.

"Um, what should we do for Zim?"

"Oh, you're that big headed human, aren't you?"

"I guess...wait a minute. My head's not big!"

"It is and you know it."

"We're getting off the subject here!"

"Right."

"So what can I do for him?"

"Nothing."

"What?"

"He's been dead for a half-hour."

"How do you know?"

"I just scanned his PAK. There are no life signs coming from it. I'm sorry." The Computer sounded a bit sad.

Dib took a minute to register the news. Zim was gone and he was there. He could have saved Zim. If only he had been faster. If only he had taken a taxi or something, Zim would still be alive. Dib put Zim down on the floor of the base and realized something: Why would someone as egotistic and (annoyingly) determined as Zim want to commit suicide?

"Master gave me a note."

"Huh?" Dib looked for the source of the voice. He saw GIR holding out a piece of paper to him.

"Master's never waking up, is he?" GIR asked on the brink of tears.

"No GIR, I'm sorry." Dib truly meant it as he looked into GIR's large teal eyes. As annoying and loud as the little robot was, he looked absolutely helpless. All the happiness had been drained from his entire existence. Sadness filled its place as GIR cried. He handed Dib the note.

GIR,

I'm sorry I have to do this to you, but I'm leaving and never coming back. I found out a few days ago that my-no, our mission was a complete joke from the Tallest. I was never a true Invader after all. The cruelest part was you. You were never an advanced SIR like they said. I was never an Invader after all. I want you to know, no matter how annoyed I got at you for your insanity, your piggies, that horrible monkey, messing up my experiments, taking over the house, trying to kill me, not listening to me, singing-hey, were was I? Oh, right…I really do care for you. You're my…friend.

I don't see the point in living anymore. Sure, I have you but everyone on Irk hates my guts, everyone on Earth could care less about me, and nobody in the Irken Empire wants me there. The only people I have are you and Dib. As much as he hates me, in some weird human way, he's been there for me. Almost like a friend if you will. Contact the Tallest and tell them. They'll be so happy to learn that I've done something right for Irk. GIR, I'll miss you. Go to the Dib-human and live with him. He's the only one who could see us for what we truly are, and show him this note if he refuses. Well GIR, goodbye. For the last time, Inv- Zim signing off.

Dib didn't really know what to feel. Sad, angry, lonely? He did consider Zim his only friend and Zim felt the same. Maybe if he was around longer, they could have been friends. But right now, he had to make a call.

"Computer," he said, voice cracking, "contact the Tallest. I want to tell them what happened."

A monitor came down in front of Dib and soon, two very tall Irkens appeared on the screen. The one with red eyes looked at Dib.

"What now?" Red asked with a very annoyed tone.

"We're not buying anything!" Purple said.

"No, I'm not trying to sell you anything!" Dib shouted, "I'm calling to tell you that Zim's dead!"

"He's...gone?" Red asked.

"Yeah, he committed suicide."

"Let's have a party!"

"Do you not understand? All he was trying to do was please you and then you just go and shatter his dreams? Geez, I was right, you are heartless."

"Wait, I don't think I understand. He did what?"

"Committed suicide."

"And that is...what? I don't really understand your language."

"Suicide is when you kill yourself."

"Did he use the self-destruct?"

"Um, no. He took off his PAK and then jumped into the water. He died from nearly drowning and I think the Pak started up again too late."

"We never really meant for this to happen."

"Yeah well, it did and there's nothing you can do about it! It's your fault he did this in the first place!" Dib ended the transmission still furious at the Tallest. "But so am I." Dib whispered more to himself than anybody. GIR looked at him.

"What do we do Master?" he asked quietly.

"GIR, your Master's- are you talking to me?" Dib asked the robot. GIR nodded. "Well, first we bury Zim. It's something we do on Earth." he explained since GIR gave him a confused look. "Then, you come and live with me."

"Will there be tacos?"

"I guess."

"And waffles?"

"We could get some."

"And rubber piggy can come?"

"Sure."

"Ok."

Dib woke up with sunlight streaming in through his window. Rubbing his eyes, he sat up and got ready for Skool. After having breakfast, he and Gaz walked to the torturous education facility. Dib slipped into Ms. Bitters' class and sat in his desk next to the window. Out of habit, he looked at the desk on the other side of the classroom. Of course, it was...occupied? *What?* Dib thought.

Sure enough, Zim was sitting in his desk but he looked haggard and way too thin. Dib walked over to his arch enemy.

"Zim? What are you doing here?" he asked.

"What does it look like Dib-stink? I'm at Skool like any other normal human worm baby."

"I thought you...but you were...and GIR was..."

"You're acting more crazy than usual. Did that big head of yours finally burst?"

"My head's not big! And you committed suicide last night!" Zim froze.

"I did what last night?"

"Committed suicide! I tried to stop you. Well, actually you jumped in that creek in the park and I rescued you but you died while I was taking you back to your base and I called your leaders since I found a note you left GIR and they told me that your mission was a fake and

GIR came with me back to my house."

"I see. Well, you were just having one of those crazy dreams as usual. No doubt because of that head of yours." Zim paused a minute, then whispered the next part quietly, "But if I were you, I would listen to that dream. Remember the times and maybe you can save a life. Maybe that person's evil robot minion wanted you to see its greatest fear which may come true three nights from now. Maybe that person wants one more chance. Or maybe it's just your overactive childish imagination making your dreams become a reality. Now get out of here Earth scum."

"Zim, you're not serious, are you?"

"Leave now filthy human."

"Answer the question!"

"Have you the brainworms? Leave Dib-stink before I rip you apart with my PAK!"

"Fine Zim! But don't expect anyone to be there because this time, I won't help you!"

"Who said I wanted the help of a filthy, stupid human!"

"Zim, maybe it would be better without you constantly trying to take over the Earth!"

"Maybe you should listen to that dream of yours!"

"Or maybe I shouldn't. And I won't!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

Three days passed since their argument and there was no sign of Zim in Skool. Dib was feeling uneasy now, maybe Zim would be true to his word. Or not. Dib rushed home after Skool to think about what to do that night. He remembered the time he should leave by but why should he? Why should he save the one who made his life miserable? Why save his enemy?

"Because we both need each other in some twisted, bizarre way." Dib said aloud, "He's my only proof and I'm his motivation."

"Keep it down Dib!" Gaz shouted, "You're talking out loud again!"

Dib lay down on his bed and closed his eyes. He quickly drifted off to sleep.

Knock! Knock! Knock!

Dib woke with a start. Someone was at the door. *I should probably get that,* he thought, *Gaz will kill me if I don't and Dad's not even home.* Dib got up from his bed still in his usual attire. He went downstairs and answered the door.

"Look, I don't want to buy anyth-GIR?" he said. Sure enough, the little robot-dog thing was at the door, eyes wet from crying and something in his arms.

"Please big headed-boy," he said, "Master stopped moving."

"What the-Zim?" Dib looked closer at the thing in GIR's hands and sure enough, it was Zim. He was soaking wet but something was different. One of his legs and one of his arms were bent at unnatural angles and blood trickled from his back from right below his PAK.

"I thought he would go to the little taco, but he went to the big one." GIR said through tears.

"GIR, we don't have time for this right now! Can you fly us to the base?" The little robot nodded and let Dib climb on his back where Zim would usually sit. He took off for the base, carefully cradling Zim in his arms. Soon, the odd green and purple house came into view. Dib and GIR rushed inside and took the elevator down to the lab.

"He flew off the big tiquito into the supersize slush monkey." GIR said.

"What are you talking about GIR? We don't have time for this! Computer!"

"Yes?" it said.

"What time is it?"

"11:03."

"Good, earlier than last time. Is Zim still alive?"

"Hmm. I'll run a diagnostic on his PAK. This will take a few minutes. And would it kill you to say please once in a while?"

"Thanks." Dib placed Zim in one of the lab's randomly placed chairs and turned his attention back to GIR. The little robot was out of his dog disguise. Tears ran down his small metal face as he hugged one of his many rubber piggies.

"He flew off the big tiquito. THE BIG TIQUITO!" Gir cried out. He quickly buried his head in his thin arms and continued sobbing. He also began mumbling something but Dib could only make out "I'm sorry…known better…tiquito…"

"GIR, what the heck are you talking about?" Dib half-asked and half-screamed. GIR was starting to annoy him now by talking nonsense.

"Master. The tall people called and Master got all sad and everything got all bad. Master told me to stay but I wanted a taco so I left and I saw Master fly off the big tiquito and he said he would fly off the small tiquito. I pulled him out of the wet place and he told me about spacey-space and stopped moving and everything got badder. Big head kid would help so I came to you and we came back to base and the Scary Monkey Show's not on!" GIR sobbed some more and finally said, "Master promised me. Master promised me!"

"Well," Dib started, running a hand through his hair, "let me get this straight. Zim tried to commit suicide by jumping off the park bridge?" GIR frantically shook his head.

"Big tiquito! And the bad big wet place that Master no like!" he shouted out.

"I don't understand!" Dib shouted out in frustration. Even sad, he couldn't get any good information out of GIR. If only he could make him go in that weird red mode...

"I think I understand." the Computer said suddenly.

"What is GIR talking about then?"

"I believe-" a loud beep stopped the Computer.

"What is it?"

"There are life signs coming from the PAK. Weak, but still there. Not much I can do now except set the bones." the Computer stated sounding slightly relieved.

"So Master's not going away to the big thingy in the sky?" GIR asked.

"Uh...no. He's staying here."

"I'm gonna go make waffles! And toast! And a biiiiiiiiiiig cake!" GIR shouted while leaving to go up to the kitchen. Dib watched the Computer place Zim on an odd-looking table as robotic limbs came out to set Zim's bones.

"He's going to be pretty mad at GIR for what he did a couple nights ago..." Computer mumbled.

"What did he do?" Dib asked.

"Well, he was working on some dream transmission device and oddly enough, it was successful."

"What do you mean?"

"Sheesh you ask a lot of questions. It works by sending thoughts from person to person, being to being. Master tested it out a couple times on random test subjects (mostly Nick) and each was successful. He was going to use it to take over the minds of world leaders but then he got the call from the Tallest."

"His leaders?"

"Yep, and they told him his mission was a fake."

"So, it was all a joke?"

"Yes. So Master didn't see the reason to live anymore. GIR and I got pretty nervous, especially after hearing him talk to himself about how everything would be better without him. Plus, he stopped eating. So I helped GIR modify the dream transmission device to fit his circuitry and send a message to one human. We picked you since you actually know about us and would probably care enough to help. GIR thought of what might happen and where Master would most likely go in order to prevent his death. We then somehow convinced him to go to Skool one more time to really think about things. It didn't really go according to plan since you two got in a fight that completely made the decision."

"So, if I said I would help, none of this would have happened? I feel like a jerk now."

"You should." Computer replied as it retracted the metal arms. "Well, there's nothing we can do now except wait a while. You can stay the night if it makes it any easier."

"Thanks. But I have one more question."

"Yes?"

"How did Zim know GIR used the dream thing?" There was a pause.

"I...don't know how he found out. I didn't know until just now."

Two days passed by and Dib's life almost returned to normal. Zim had regained consciousness after Dib left the morning after his attempted suicide and he was being taken care of by GIR and the Computer. Dib decided that after Skool, he would go check on Zim.

Dib cautiously walked up to the weird green and purple house. Oddly enough, none of the lawn gnomes tried to vaporize him. He knocked on the door and sure enough, a familiar green and black dog was seen in the doorway.

"HI BIG-HEADED KID!" he shrieked.

"Hey GIR. Can I come in?"

"Okey-Dokey!" Dib walked into the base and saw Zim sitting on the couch. His right arm was in a sling and his left leg was in a cast. He looked over at Dib, but much to Dib's surprise, he wasn't glaring at him. GIR closed the door and hopped up on the couch next to his Master.

"Dib-human, I was expecting you a bit sooner." he said.

"Well, you had GIR and your Computer so I thought you'd be fine."

"Yes, of course. For I am ZIM!" he shouted. But there was something missing...energy? Passion?

"Zim, what happened?"

"Very well, if you must know I will tell you. It turns out the Tallest hate me. How could they? How could they hate the awesomeness that is ZIM?"

"Yeah, I heard. You're Computer told me. So why try to commit suicide? Why not talk to someone or get help?"

"Fool. I did try to get help. Why else do you think I let GIR make his transmission? I'm not that stupid. (Dib made a "Yeah, right" face) I knew he was planning something with the Computer! I wouldn't have tried but then you ignored them! As I said before Dib-human, I'm not that stupid. I know when I need help. I usually get it from GIR but this time, I needed more. You never actually gave it to me until GIR came to you. Even now, I feel as though you did nothing. GIR is the one who truly cares for me." Zim paused a minute, looking quite surprised. "I never imagined myself saying something like that." he remarked. "I was taught to never feel anything outside of rage, pride, impulse, and happiness. I never thought I could feel something like that."

"I guess you're becoming human." Dib said.

"Oh disgusting! I would never sink so low!"

"Hey, sorry! Well, not really, but why are you so angry at me right now? Why not be angry at your leaders? They're the ones who abandoned you!"

"I can't," Zim said, antennae lowered in submission, "they're my leaders, my whole world and life. Part of me still wants to conquer Earth, to gain respect and pride I lost. The other part wants revenge, to put the Tallest through the same torture I was put through from living a life of lies. I don't know what to think anymore."

Dib couldn't help but feel pity for the alien. True, he tried to make his life a living Hell but then again, Dib tried to do the same. Plus, his whole planet and everything he knew abandoned him to some alien world. Alone. Helpless. Sure he had GIR and the Computer but how long until another attempt on his life?

"Zim, I don't know what to say."

"Say nothing stinkbeast. I'm not looking for your pityful sympathy and compassion! What I need is an answer!"

"Um, stop trying to destroy the Earth?"

"Hmm...well...I've got nothing to gain and nothing to lose. I'm too good for this puny, insignificant planet anyway! You filthy human scum can keep it!"

"Well, now that you're not really a threat to humanity anymore, we can try to start over."

"Eh?"

"You know, become friends?"

"I would never sink so low as to do something like that!"

"Zim, we have more in common than you know! What do you have to lose?"

"My sanity!"

"Zim!"

Zim sighed. Maybe a friendship with Dib wouldn't be that terrible. After all, he had nothing to lose and he would have to fit in somehow and live the rest of his life on Earth. So what was stopping him? The Hell with Irken laws! He was Zim! He played by his own rules.

"Ok Dib-human. You're on." Dib smiled.

"Great, so I'll see you in Skool then?"

"Yes, yes now move along before I change my mind! GIR! Show him out."

GIR leapt off the couch and landed on the floor. "Yes Master!" he said in Duty Mode. He quickly changed back to "GIR Mode" and opened the door for Dib. "Don't get eated by sharkies!"

Dib left Zim's base and headed for his house, his mind at ease with one thought in his head:

"I won."

A/N: Too predictable? Too confusing? I hope you got GIR's explanation. I had to find some way for him to explain everything but in a GIR-like way. When he refers to the "big taco/tiquito" he's talking about the bridge Zim jumped off of. Hey, I had to find some way to keep him GIR!

If you do have any questions about the whole thing, feel free to P.M. me and ask away! In my opinion, some of this was just a giant mind-screw (/the profanity, whichever you choose). Also, I'm still debating whether or not I should post the continuation stories and make it an official trilogy called Lasting Impressions. I've also made a couple oneshots about the times in between this one and the next story. Reviews are welcomed, but not required. To tell you the truth, I just do this for fun so don't review if you don't want to.


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